Hi all. I've been lurking and learning for a little over a couple of years now and finally I feel in a position that I can introduce myself and even participate as time allows.
I am Flower's husband. Her introduction is here (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10622
). I figured an update has been long overdue. As you can read from her introduction, we will have been married for 14 years this coming May and have three children. As you can also see from her introduction, I have cheated on her. What you do not see from her introduction is that I basically had been cheating on her again (with a different woman) and everything came to a head Feb 2012.
Surprisingly and to to her credit, she has decided to stick with me and work on our relationship and our marriage even when I was ready to force her out of it due to a lot of misdirected resentment I had towards her. Since then we have been concentrating on our relationship and marriage and have made considerable progress. Along the way, I've come to the realizations that many (if not all) of the resentments and hurts were misplaced or could have been avoided had we both been more communicative about our wants, needs and desires.
More honest, open and clear communication has been our focus on this new path in repairing our relationship and preparing for opening up our relationship for me to be poly and her to be open to have casual relationships (sexual or otherwise). (The irony is that the last woman I cheated on could have become an approved relationship had I been honest and communicative).
We have just recently started dating so I am hoping to start blogging about the past and the mistakes I know I have made (and may have be brutally honest to myself about it) so others may learn; and I plan to blog about our journey into practicing poly and open relationships respectively.
Finally, thank you everyone on this board who has taken the time, energy and courage to post up your poly and life experiences. I have learn much that has helped us repair our relationship and help me realize where I was not being fair, where I was being selfish and where I wasn't being the husband and partner Flower needed.