I called out BFF about two weeks ago now..
When confronted with the reality of the situation (something he was fine with just letting it happen without talk!) he practically ran screaming from the room. Couldn't fess up to his feelings, but I did. I'm proud of that.
I don't regret being painfully honest with my husband- helping him understand how much BFF meant to me and that we had to be on the same page (all 3 of us) to proceed any further.
When we talked to BFF he chose to run from the situation; same sorta thing, he wants to really 'be with' someone, so he went back to his toxic girlfriend.
Now I remember why I don't let myself fall in love.
But it's true; I was never going to be there 100% of the time and a lot of the relationship was going to be the 3 of us.
So I hear ya, sister. I don't regret doing the 'right' thing but it does force choices for everyone and that can be sad.