Thread: Poly or not?
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  #53  
Old 06-16-2009, 03:18 PM
vampiresscammy vampiresscammy is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Michigan, United States
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RG and cjj - you both sound you like you have total heels for spouses, at least going by whats been said about them on here

both your spouses/SO's (significant others) are not being totally open are completely honest, that is not poly, but most important they are hurting you

I have no idea how much either of you has innvested in your current relationships, but to me it sounds like its time to take a stand and make some new rules or let them go if they can't even be honest with you, decide what you want, and then go get it, your reltionships involve you, they should make you happy, not hurt and upset you and make you unhappy

RG - i still say forget the 'others' wife, shes not your concern, she is his problem and theres nothign you can do to help her from being hurt, i bet she has some inclining of whats happening anyways, but you need to talk with your wife and let her know what is and is not acceptable to you and let her know how much she is hurting you right now

cjj - that is not cool at all, this nonesense about him not being able to contact you while with her, there is soooooo very much wrong with that, there is no trust or truth in his and her part it sounds like, i have a huge issue with kinda poly that involves lying, so sorry if i sound harsh, but you are all going to get so hurt if you dont talk about things and set ground rules and limits, again, like i suggested to RG, sit down with him, talk out what you want, what he wants and consider including her if you feel its important, poly does not mean letting your SO do whatever they want, its an agreement, dont be hurt make him sit and discuss things with you and tell him what you want and expect

i truly hope you both find some happiness wether its with your current SO's or without them, stand up for you and remember its a two way street, they have to give back to you too, not just take, *hugs* to you both, again excuse me for being harsh, just don't liek seeing folks getting hurt
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