I'm not sure what to do
So a few weeks ago a mutual friend of Ben and I got into some trouble. She is several states away. We decided to help her the best we could, and we sent her a package with some things. Since we sent the package, he hasn't given me updates, I haven't got to talk to her, and he has become extremely secretive with his cell phone. He only becomes secretive when he is lying. I know he texts her everyday. If I ask about what he is talking to her about he gets defensive and won't answer my questions. Tonight, I went through his messages and I am upset by what I found. He stole one of my sex toys and sent it to her and has been getting dirty pictures from her. I'm not really upset by this, I am a little jealous, but what upsets me the most is that he is lying to my face. He did hint at wanting something with her, but I didn't really get it until now. Now, I think our friend(Shannon) is very attractive and I've known her for a while, our history together is not bad, but we were never besties. And thinking on it a little, I wouldn't mind if we brought her into our family, but as a triangle, where she has a relationship with both of us and not two separate relationships.
I know he is going to be mad at me for looking through his phone, but I want to tell him that I wan to talk about her and having her in the relationship. She would make our lives easier and she is a fairly cool person who has hit some really hard times. I'm okay with her moving out to us as she doesn't have anything holding her where she is. My biggest fear is the big green rage monster called jealously that I know is there.
I'm not really sure what to do. I don't want him mad, but I do want to talk to him.
21yr old poly female; single and happy