The whole "i had a bad experience with a poly person, therefore poly is not for me" is just like when a woman has a bad experience with men and decides to "become" a lesbian. (yes i know most of the time that is just talk but i know real live women with names and numbers who have "done" this and i move that these individuals were already bisexual or pan or whaever). As they said in Liquid Sky, "...fuck women instead, and men won't walk all over you anymore. Women will." same thing here. So don't "be poly". "be" monogamous instead. That way, you won't get treated poorly by poly people. You'll get treated poorly by monogamous people instead.