Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit
Where do we find substantiation of the concept that WE are 'responsible' for the thoughts & actions of others
You're not. You're responsible for your own actions. And when you PARTICIPATE in a relationship that is a betrayal of another person's promises, trust, honesty, and openness, then you are equally a liar, a betrayer, and a cheater. Those are your actions and you *are* responsible for your thoughts and actions.
I'm sorry if that seems harsh to you, but it's how I feel.
The whole "he'd have cheated anyway, so it might as well be with me and that doesn't make me responsible" is a cop-out.
If you knew a man was going to kill someone and you provided him with a gun knowing that he would use it to kill with, aren't you responsible in some way? Or would you say "well, he'd have gotten a gun somewhere anyway, or he'd have used a knife - so I might as well have given him mine"?
I'm sorry, I don't see the "gray" area that you want everyone else to see here. I really don't. As I said, I've done it and I tried all those justifications to make myself feel better. But the truth is that this is pretty black and white, IMO.