Anyone who can empathize?
Ok, a little background first: My partner, B, and I have been together for going on 3 years, this July. We have been "open" for the majority our relationship, and in October of last year the door to poly opened and we both ran in head first and ended up reaping the consequences of little communication and an unwillingness to compromise. We ended up breaking up in November, on Thanksgiving to be exact. Since then, we have realized how much we don't want to live without each other. So, we are currently rebuilding our relationship and redefining us. In the meantime of us being broken up, she started seeing someone new, M. They were able to have 4 months of, pretty much, uninterrupted connection during my absence. (I hope this is all making sense.) And me and M have started building a connection recently, as well.
So, long story short, we are now in a triad.
However, I recently started nursing school in January. School is very demanding of my time and attention, and because I don't have much free time, they have kind of carried on the same way it was when i wasn't around. They still see each other just as much as they always have, and I kind of feel like I am being squeezed into whatever time is left over. I know that my lack of free time is no one's fault and I don't blame them for me not having any free time. I just can't get over this feeling of "I feel alone." It's hard trying to rebuild my relationship with B, and build a new connection with M and have time for me and study and keep up my grades.
I just feel alone because I'm starting to feel like, "You don't know how alone I feel over here, and it's not fair that I am the only one feeling this way!"
Don't get me wrong, we all make sure I talk to each of them on a daily basis and I see them on weekends when I can. And B usually makes time for her and I to have alone time during the week even if its just a couple of hours. So they are making an effort, I just can't get past this feeling of being alone. And I don't want to start to grow resentful towards them.
Is there anyone out there who can help? Who knows what I am going through?