Well I keep reading and reading on this site of others experiences and I keep admiring my incredible husband who is willing (if not keen) to support me in having a closer relationship with this man.
There are some things that sound so lovely to me, mainly being able to talk for hours with him, and to cuddle and be affectionate with him. When the three of us are together I feel so happy and I love the way they talk to one another (they were best friends for a long time and I kind of got in the way) and the way they both flirt with and tease me.
But.. I find so many things that I read about poly relationships just don't mesh with the life my husband and I have created together. We have a policy of total honesty and love to share all our thoughts with one another, I worry that there would be things that I would end up not being able to tell. We share every moment together that we possibly can and would never want to spend less time together so I couldn't face sharing him with anyone else at all because I would see him less and I don't see as much as I want to of him as it is.
We have built such an intensely close, fulfilling, exciting and loving relationship and we talk about everything and share all our experiences and feelings. I think I'm spending more and more time lately thinking that I don't want to have anything taken away from that. I don't want to have experiences away from him and seperate from him. He's my sweetheart and I love him and miss him dreadfully when we're apart.
I'm just finding myself swinging wildly from desire to spend time talking with my ex and seeing where that could go, and desire to just cut off all contact with him, let my feelings subside before we all see each other again and focus everything back on my husband.
Last edited by Confused; 01-14-2010 at 05:13 PM.