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Old 01-14-2010, 04:49 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
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Ceoli,

Nice insights and comments. Thank you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceoli View Post
As I've encountered these situations in real life there has always been the question of my values.
Question...when you/we talk about "values" are we speaking of "belief systems" ? (probably separate thread)
I'm assuming as it relates to this topic that - for example - one belief system might entail holding to a 'don't touch' policy of anyone in an existing relationship without full disclosure to all because of the risk of danger ? That I understand - the 'classic' view.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceoli
For a worst case scenario, you seem to be laying out quite an idealistic view of the outcome.
Only ONE possible outcome. I do/did acknowledge all the less favorable ones. But the question remains - do we never 'risk' moving forward in the fear of moving backwards. My theory is that each case (risks) has to be evaluated individually. I just can't connect with B/W in this regard.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ceoli;
To think that my getting into a relationship with someone who is cheating on their SO has the chance to somehow "move" their relationship to a more healthy state and that is a good reason to move forward with them sidesteps the actual values in question. I simply think that if their relationship needs to move to a healthier place, it's going to be *them* that move it to what's right for *them*.
And isn't it in fact 'them' that is trying to 'move'? And how do we respond ? Assist - or stand idly by and wish them luck ? Either of which, by the way, I feel are appropriate choices depending on the situation.
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