View Single Post
Old 01-14-2010, 04:49 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231


Nice insights and comments. Thank you.

Originally Posted by Ceoli View Post
As I've encountered these situations in real life there has always been the question of my values.
Question...when you/we talk about "values" are we speaking of "belief systems" ? (probably separate thread)
I'm assuming as it relates to this topic that - for example - one belief system might entail holding to a 'don't touch' policy of anyone in an existing relationship without full disclosure to all because of the risk of danger ? That I understand - the 'classic' view.

Originally Posted by Ceoli
For a worst case scenario, you seem to be laying out quite an idealistic view of the outcome.
Only ONE possible outcome. I do/did acknowledge all the less favorable ones. But the question remains - do we never 'risk' moving forward in the fear of moving backwards. My theory is that each case (risks) has to be evaluated individually. I just can't connect with B/W in this regard.

Originally Posted by ceoli;
To think that my getting into a relationship with someone who is cheating on their SO has the chance to somehow "move" their relationship to a more healthy state and that is a good reason to move forward with them sidesteps the actual values in question. I simply think that if their relationship needs to move to a healthier place, it's going to be *them* that move it to what's right for *them*.
And isn't it in fact 'them' that is trying to 'move'? And how do we respond ? Assist - or stand idly by and wish them luck ? Either of which, by the way, I feel are appropriate choices depending on the situation.
Reply With Quote