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Old 04-23-2013, 07:12 PM
Lilla Lilla is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 5
Default ThatLChap and Lilla's poly adventure

Hey,

So I decided to kickstart the blog following my weekend away, whilst a few things are fresh in the mind. Some of you will know of our story from the intro board, but I will give a brief overview here.

I am 23, female, bi, and about 6 months ago started to identify myself as poly inclined. At the time myself and thatlchap who I will just call L, had been together 3 years. We were also going through issues within our own relationship so nothing happened and in the poly sense, things got brushed under the carpet.

Then about 3-4 months ago, I started to get closer to my friend TG. It was completely unplanned to want to fall into a senario like this, but I hadn't felt connection to another person like this in a long time and felt I needed the chance to persue it. So I talked to L about it, mostly terrified he'd hate me. There was talking, talking, and more talking. Somehow a few months down the line this talking has resulted in L having a good male friend, and me having a wonderful second partner who I know cant imagine life without.

Not that we aren't a vee without issues of course. Due to scheduling difficulties, I've barely been able to see L the past 3 weeks, and whilst I've seen TG a lot up to now, we are about to be apart 2 weeks. I know this doesn't seem long, and I'm no stranger to ldr. But during the weekend me and TG reached a new point in our relationship dynamic and it sucks to not be able to enjoy it. Particularly as we reached it through a negative experience.

Basically, I have a medical condition, and one symptom bothers me to the point I cannot talk about it. I mean physically cannot. Its my thing, and its private. The symptom occurred over the weekend, and whilst I hid it, TG noticed the heightened personal space boundary and wanted to know what was up. He later said he knew he should have left it, but couldnt because of his own fears from past relationships. So I feel backed into a corner and somehow the issue is articulated. Simultaneously making me defensive and want to run because I feared he would, and TG feel pushed away, playing into his fear of being abandoned when he gets too close to someone.

Overall not fun. But we stuck it out. Talked it out calmly to a full resolution, then watched a strange 90s musical about singing cockroaches. We both feel more secure in each other's commitment to our relationship and its solidness now the nre is starting to die down. But I feel sad because I want to just enjoy the positives, hang out with both him and L and cook/play games etc... like we did earlier on in the relationship. Which I know all 3 of us want, but won't really get a chance till june, when L moves in with me.

Sorry if this is written a little weird, my phone can be a bit annoying. I'm sure I've left stuff off but that's probably the beauty of an ongoing journal. L will no doubt be adding to this soon, though blogs arent TG's thing. However he does know we use this, has full access to all posts, and is happy to answer any questions the board may have through me or L.

Lilla
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