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Old 04-23-2013, 05:07 PM
dee2368 dee2368 is offline
New Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 1
Default new to poly an having difficulty

I met a gorgeous man 5 months ago he wanted to explore polyamorey and the ideal is very give freedom to explore...of course there is different versions and extreme depending on the people involved and what they need/want...but I am open to it and have been exploring this ideal...I have loved many people at the same time on different levels and will continue to do so...but I do question whether having a poly relationship allows us to avoid dealing with what we need to learn with each other and can be an avoidance of working through painfull arisings/hurt by bringing in fresh new energy? is complex and difficult I know..can be enuf to be in one relationship and address lovingly our hurts and vulnerabillites..... I am exploring...but on a personal level when my partner connects with another and as I judge not in a heart connection way how do I deal with this?...seems to me from my perspective that it is a forum for pursueing pleasure without addressing anything...I am concerned for the pursance constantly for new lovers/interations which distracts us from our need and desire is to connect with many...but also to be present to the person I am with and for them to be present to me as there is only the moment after all and love is not a bond...but when it becomes a drive for the other it undermines me and our relationship...I feel like an object of the others desire and pursuance and no heart connection and consideration of my feelings...if I dont feel open and happy for others to come in I am therefore not into is used against me...recently my partner had a sharing with another...lovely and free but without a real connection...and now I get angry words and closed cold interaction because I am not of compersion...I dont feel loved and if i HAVE TO CLOSE DOWN AN ASPECT OF MYSELF TO DEAL WITH THIS WHAT Is poly?...unloving and purely about the sex?it is HOW we deal with the risings that make it work as in any relationship...I am justfloundering yet have comapssion for the person involved as to their pain and what has triggered this close down to me...any advice/experience welcome
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