Right now I am hearing lots of feelings. This is good. You can articulate your feelinds. You are not articulating your need though.
- I always feel scared at times that I will land up being pushed away and forgotten. I need _____ to not feel scared I'll be forgotten.
- I am scared that such an amazing relationship won't last. I need _____ to believe this relationship can last.
- I am so scared that I will land up being forgotten because it happened a lot to me in the past with friends. I need _______ to feel this relationship is not like my friends that bailed on me.
Lots of fear. What do you need to feel safer so you can allow yourself to move past the fearfulness?
Could taking a needs inventory
help you narrow down what need of yours is not being met by you? How do you talk to yourself inside your own head? With nurture and support? Or comparing / talking down to yourself like you are not enough somehow?
They sound willing to help.
He tried to help me by talking about it and sam tried to help as well, but I still feel angry and hurt when they get intimate and then feel even worse when he tries to talk to me about it.
What needs do need met by him? Sam? More time spent alone with him? No group sex? What?
When he talks to you about it, what makes it feel worse? The words he uses? Emotional flooding? Talking about it at all?