Originally Posted by BaggagePatrol
I know for me I try not to associate the NRE with the person, and more with the experience of falling in love with someone. That way it doesn't have to be 'quenched' or 'scratched' by seeing them. I try to schedule dates so that I know when I can look forward to seeing them, and it puts a pep in my step.
I'm pretty analytical though, and I know this is much harder for Elemental when he's in love - NRE can make him do some crazy shit.
I usually focus it into something else; making music, writing, gardening, jogging, my yoga practice, cooking - that energy is so amazing in all avenues of life, and is something that largely lives inside of me. Making something like a really great playlist, or a piece of art for the person you're pining for is a cool way to focus those feelings too, IMHO.
Happy for you, even though I know you're frustrated!!!
This is actually really, really helpful advice. I'd had a sense of what you're describing, and had sort of been doing it (making playlists most definitely writing a lot most definitely, and I made a piece of jewelry for the silent auction at an event he was helping to run), but I'd never thought to conceptualize it as separating the experience of NRE from the individual in question. It makes a lot of sense to me, and I think it'll make a difference.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.