I've been hear a while and haven't got round to it yet and so maybe it is about time.
First off all I am an exceptionally lucky woman because I am surounded by 3 people that love me.
I do not use the terms primary and secondary, nobody in my life is more important than the other.
My longest partner and the start of this little story is C, aka Montianboy on this forum (he doesnt' post much though
We met almost 6 years ago. I was only 20 he was 23. I can honestly say that this man saved me from myself. I was at desperately low point, depressed and suffering severe symotoms of a disosiative disorder and PTSD,
he was patiant and we fell in love. He is my best friend the person who knows me inside out.
For the first 3 bit years we where monogomos but always with possibility of openning things up. We had some opertunitys in first 3 years that we did not take because we where very afraid it would change our relationship and break us up.
The start of our jorney into polyamory was not really positive. I met someone who I became very close too M and again we talked about openning things but we where still at the stage of deciding for sure when something physical happened. I confessed imediatly to C but I knew that i had hurt him. We finally agreed to try an open relationship with me seeing M and our adventure began. It was NOT easy at first lots of jelousy issues, many arguments and mistakes not mentioning the fact that M had a partner who didn't know about any of this and i can honestly say hand on heart that we did it all wrong! C met a girl and dated her but eventually I ended things with M and C broke up with his other partner and we where back to monogmoy.
What we did next was to talk, lots. To try and understand what went wrong and decide if we ever wanted to do this again. We met friends who taught us the word polyamory and who help educate us on how we could do things diffrent next time and so 8 months later we tried again.
This time we comunicated more,
we where radically honest about everything, feelings negative or bad where put on the table and analized. We worked hard not to let NRE overwhelm us. I dated and he dated and we grew and learned along the way...
inbetween that time i fell pregnant to C, and unfortunatly had a baby to premature to survive. I had a break from all other relationship when i healed and then some months later a friend of ours set me up on a sort of date with a man i had met and liked 10 months earlier,
I clicked with R much in the same way i had clicked with C. I knew imediatly that this was not going to be just a few dates i had a strong gut feeling that he was someone very special. I belive that we meet certian people for a reason and he is someone that is meant to be a part of my life. I fell madly and completly in love with him. Amazingly so far everything has gone smoothly he gets on well with C and although its his first poly relationship he seems to have the nesesry self awareness to comunicate and live this lifestyle. Over the christmas period we made the huge desision for him to move into our home with us and that will be happening at the end of this month. A very exciting and scary time I am more than aware that this is going to be a challange but I am willing to take the risk because my gut feeling and intuition is telling me that this is something i should do.
Inbetween all this and after 1 year of no contact i got back in touch with the man that i originally dated and made all those mistakes with. He was now single and we where still very much in love. So i have spent the past 6 months just talking and healing that wounds caused to myself and to C from having an affair. I feel i can safley say that we really are getting to a point where we have moved passed the bitterness and that him and C are at a place where it is now acceptable for me to see M in person and resume some kind of relationship,
i have R moving into our home and Feb 15 i will see M again for the first time in 18 months,
everyone is comunicating, everyone is trying to learn from past mistakes.
none of the men have so far got other partners but we are open to that, it would be very nice to see them be able to share all the love they have with someone else
anyway that is how things are for us
i will now be able to update here with new developments and if you got to the end of all that thankyou for reading.