Well its been a while since I have posted, some things have drastically changed
but we still go on but not as one anymore. As of yesterday Drew and I have broken up, we are not angry at each other or anything like that.
Early February my husband got really hurt and I was stressed I admit I did take some of my frustration and stress on him and he took his out on me (drew and I) we felt we couldn't get mad at my husband because he was out of work and freaking out, communication broke down and I started to tend more to my husband and I did leave Drew to fend for him self, I felt if all we are going to do is fight why engage? So I let him have his space, we kept it all from my son, his to young. On V-day we decided it would be best to take a break.
So after that my husband was getting better and Drew and I were on much better term, things where getting back to normal then last month for a weekend we all took a vacation to recharge, no kids, just us three to all have fun and be ourselves. We did have a rule and it still applied, that a vacation was a rule free, except ALWAYS practice safe sex and use common sense. But I didn't meet anyone that weekend but Drew and I fooled around, I didn't think anything of it, it was a casual weekend and we had all agreed that since all of us have been recently tested and clean and always practice safe sex with anyone outside the three of us and etc. That my husband was and still is very comfortable with Drew and I fluid bonding and myself submitting to him and letting Drew dominate me. And since he hadn't dated anyone we agreed that that rule still would apply to our trip if Drew and I decided to have relations.
We did , oh boy did we.
the ripping of clothes, the underling need and the connection I felt.. I told myself to not expect anything and to go on with the weekend like we had all agreed and not to make a big deal out of it. So I wasn't going to talk about it, we all went to a dance that night and I met someone, let's say J anyway he was great and we danced , but soon my husband came over and said it was time to go and I just nodded and to be honest and this is 100% honesty. I didn't mind in the least, I was having a great time, but I was more than happy to go with him of he wanted me too ( husband) so I said my goodbyes to and left with. My husband to find out that Drew and left the dance after watching me with J complaining of a headache, so we went to find him and found him very quickly he was looking for us as well but he was very annoyed to say the least, that night I three it up to his headache so shrugged it off , but as we were outside my husband commented that he liked watching me have fun and I agreed I was having fun, but drew jumped in saying if you where having so much fun just go back in there, but it was the tone and look that ticked me off. Anyway that continued till he fell asleep by me in our king size bed at the hotel, next day I tried to make a advance only to be pushed away, I was highly ticked but went on with the day and then the long drive home. (not that long only 4.5 hours but we did make a pit stop at Drew's granny home to gist his family. We never came out to them officially only his mother kinds knows what's going on, very supportive, I love her to death too.
Anyway we got home late a night without the kids because it was so late and they would have been in bed already. So we unpacked and we left him in his room and I said my goodnights and waved but as I turned drew laughed saying ' what I can't come to bed?' he laughed and I thought well maybe its the weekend still with no kids, to tired to question I just nodded and then left to check with my husband he was happy to have him in bed again and then we all went to sleep to tired to try anything, well the next morning we had fun before he had to go to work with hubby included and then I had to get the kids from my moms. Well that night he just walked into the bedroom and just waited for us when it was bed time, we all fell asleep I was so happy, my dream was coming true the next morning I woke up to him and my husband and that made my day, I love him, and my husband so very much. I wanted / want the first thing in the morning to see is the both of them next to me. They are my sun and moon, but that day from Drew's work he was told he was leaving for two days to go to Knoxville to train for his job, anyway as he left he hugged and kissed me and I asked him if he wanted to move into the bedroom I could move his things before he got back, he brushed my hair and asked if I wouldn't mind. Of course not ,told him I love him and to text. So he left and came back but after that we didn't have sex and still haven't not for a lack of trying and making my needs clear, so just last night we came to an understanding.
He wants a companion with out being physical, although he is more than happy to be physical with others and look at porn when I'm here and ready, I need to have the physical, because a week after he got back the hugs got rare and far to few kisses , the dominance I felt, the longing was just not there, I need that my husband gives me that but I want it just as bad from him as well. So we came to agreement that he would move back into his room and the bills and everything else would be redivided, because he was starting to take over my half of the bills and my husband the other half (full time student so not working ) so he wouldn't have to take my share and to agree that the kids shouldn't call him dad, a habit my son started but we didn't feel the need to change and Drew liked it, we all still live together we talk openly, no I'm not crying or angry , I have been talking to my husband and very forthcoming so my feelings , I was kinda prepping my self I think.
I still love him, I don't want him to leave , he doesn't want to leave and neither does my husband, I know I have left my husband out slot it feels, we always talk and have grown so much closer, he is / was so happy to see Drew and I moving foreword.
Tonight we all ate dinner , laughed and joked....what are we now? Emotionally we all lean on each other, but now I feel like I shouldn't take Drew's money unless for his bills, have him watch the kids at much and to not look at him if he's in anyway undressed, or touch him.
The last two things , because if I see him undressed or feel his touch I will want more and long for it.
I love drew so much, but I don't want him to force him into being physical and definitely not out of pity. My husband has stated that he will support me in any way, but he is very sorry Drew and I didn't want the same thing, but he also still loves him ( like a brother not sexually, only time they where ever nude near each other was when they where playing with me. ....
I guess that is it... we are still having peace in my home and if anyone of us has an issue we still do come together and discuss it unless my husband sees it as private between a husband and wife, but I don't think we are doing to bed, my husband has stated that drew can stay as long as he wants, I am 100% ok with this as long as the new home rules/ boundaries are not crossed.