Ok first i want to say that i think this thread is very apropriate and useful for this forum, i know that some people will find it offensive and we will all have strong opinions on this matter but it is def useful to learn from each other and see diffrent points of view!
I have been in the situation where I fell in love with a man who was already as good as married. I did not plan for this to happen and i was young and far to nieve about love. I am very aware what i did was wrong. I would not ever put myself in this position again EVER. BUT
I do not regret it.
The situation was not black and white. He was in a relationship that had no affection, physical, emtional, sexual. I would say infact that he was being constantly verbally abused and so worn down by this that he didn't believe he could leave,
then we became friends and gradually fell in love. What we should have done was build up that friendship and not given in to the physical need for at first touch. Even though myself and montianboy are poly he was not and so i would not consider the relationship i had with him to be a polyamorous one it was simply an affair. I am glad that i had the strength to end that affair and take a big step back so that he could resolve his current relationship. We broke up for 18 months.
Now that he is single, we have spent the past 6 months just talking, working things out between me and him, him and montianboy and very gradually healing the wounds that where caused in the affair.
I will never have an affair again, i am not a mistress nor do i enjoy being one but i was an experience that i learned a great deal about myself from and i met someone that i truelly loved, and still love. I belive it happened for a reason and though i wouldn't let it happen again the same way i feel like i came out of that experience stronger, more positive and with better values.