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Old 04-21-2013, 12:47 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,087

How about SHOWING it then? Like not taking you for granted and talking mixed messages that cause pain? Make up his mind to be with you, love you, and not alienate you so you want to leave him by demonstrating loving/kind behaviors?
I told him this and he just says I should leave him if I am so unhappy, so he is not willing to take this onboard, he just sulks and tells me to go because when I get home and I have been away from him all day I want a cuddle but he won't even look up from the pc.
All that sounds like he's emotionally detaching.

You want something from him he is just not willing to provide right now, and maybe not in future or at all.

maybe I don't know as he doesn't know. I try talking about it and we fight.
To me it sounds like he does know. Maybe you aren't ready to hear?

It is hard to tell just reading.... you are there and live it. But it sounds like perhaps you could believe him when he says he loves her more, and behaves like he rather be with her.

It's hard to take and digest. I know you have to finish going through the grieving process to arrive at the "acceptance" stage of it. It's easy for forum people to see it without the emotional ties than for the actual people in the situation. But it sounds like he's broadcasting pretty clear. Just too wishwashy to say it out right -- "I want to break up with you."

This dangling along thing sucks.

I am so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like you could be in "bargaining stage" to me in the stages of grief. You said ok to him seeing her with no sex... hoping maybe that he'd give you loving/kindness in return because he gets some of what he'd like? But you are getting nothing here.

On the other hand, it is further along than "shock/denial" in the process so... you kinda are making progress? In yourself at least? That at least is something right?

Hang in there. You aren't suffering alone out there. People see you.


Last edited by GalaGirl; 04-21-2013 at 12:52 AM.
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