It seems to me sooooo many people, either gender, let their genitals do the thinking when it comes to attempting poly. They see an attractive person, get turned on, and bam! "I must fuck this person!"
It is getting to the point where I, personally, get almost grossed out when I read about people with 3 or more lovers. Maybe it's me. I get polysaturated easily. I've also had a solid 4+ years actively practicing polyamory. Plus a year or so attempting to do it with my ex husband back in 1999 and 2000, with aftershocks from that attempt lasting nearly a decade.
I recommend to poly people, stop thinking with your dicks! your clits! When you take on a new partner, you're not just getting laid, you're taking on their whole person, likes, dislikes, family history, past traumas that affect how they respond emotionally, etc etc.
If you just want to fuck around, say so. If you're poly and having issues with one or the other of your partners, you better be a damn good communicator. Or there will be blood, metaphorically speaking.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37