Originally Posted by rolypoly
He's lived as a gay man for 20 years and I can just imagine him telling a monogamous gay man that he's been sleeping with for a year, "By the way, I met a woman that I like and we kissed". Especially when his ex, who he was poly with, freaked out when he liked a woman.
As a means of opening the topic, I recently asked my boyfriend / lifetime committed partner (we're both male), "Would you really freak out if I was dating a woman?".
Kevin & I already had established a polyamory agreement (we're both poly) years before, and Kevin knew I'm also attracted to women, but that was all rather "theoretical" up to the moment that I actually had a sort of date with a woman.
I mention this because it was frankly a little uncomfortable to be telling my bf I have a date with a woman! (This was the day before our lunch date. And I've had very damn few dates with guys during our 14 yrs, as well.)
This stuff is tricky! A man may unwarrantedly worry that, because he hasn't got a certain kind of "plumbing," he may not be "enough" for his male lover. A woman could worry in the same way. It's all the typical hetero- poly stuff layered with a lot of "stuff" about gender/sex! Not easy.
But honesty is honesty is honesty -- and polyamory is all about honesty.
And my man loves me. A lot. And I love him.
And I'm probably going to have date # 2 with this gal "J", tomorrow!