Originally Posted by KerrBear
Okay? What do you mean?
This is a textbook example of "passive aggressive". I see people labeling things as "passive aggressive" when they are just sarcastic or evasive. The real meaning of "passive aggressive" is when a person tells another person what they think the other person wants to hear, then they go and do whatever they want anyway.
Your husband is telling you what you want to hear "i'm ok with this, you go ahead and do it" then he is doing whatever he wants anyway, which is counter-productive to the type of relationship he said he was ok with.
It's obvious to me that your husband sees your boyfriend as a thing and not a person. Boyfriend is a sex toy who is "allowed" to be kept and played with by you as long as husband had the final say about who does what, when, and for how long.
YOU and BOYFRIEND are allowing this to be done to yourselves. If you like it, keep doing it. If you don't like it, stop. You are in control of your own choices. Strangers on the internet cannot fix this for you. You have to fix it yourself.
You know what this situation reminds me of? Ever try a new food where you eat a whole plate of it and still can't make up your mind whether or not you like it? Yeah, me too, that. I think you DO like this dominant-controlling sex thing your husband does, and i think your boyfriend tolerates it in order to be with you.
I do not envy you folks one bit.