Your post just made me smile. I sense the happiness from the first word to the last smile.
It sounds like things are going well. If Matt is like my guy, he'll remember that dress. I have one in my closet from when we met at my cousin's wedding. He walked by me and said the dress was going to get me in trouble. My nickname for him is Mr. Trouble now.
What you learned in therapy is something I need to utilize. I have a bad habit of like just nodding and not being totes into the convo. I gotta do better.
I hope your lunch with your ex goes well. You have a good idea as far as working from the friendship side and working from there. It's totes fine that you're not sure that you wanna integrate polyamory back into your life. I'd be the same. I wouldn't be ready to jump back in the saddle either, and it ain't even my first rodeo. You'll figure out what you want and what's for the best.