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Old 04-19-2013, 04:17 AM
Eponine Eponine is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Mexico
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
I agree pretty much with all you say. But I'm curious, when you say non-mono people tend to see commitment as a free choice, do you mean that they are freely choosing each day to continue that commitment, as opposed to choosing to make the commitment once and then feeling bound by it? Because as one who would identify as mono, if pressed for an answer, I would say that my commitment to a person absolutely is a free choice, but that by the very definition of the word, there is then some obligation to follow through. To me, commitment means nothing if we decide the next day that we are no longer committed.
I think it can be either way. I personally know a poly guy who says he and his partner are freely choosing each day to continue their commitment, but since they're very loving and compatible, they can see their relationship lasting a very long time in the future. I think "free choice" mainly means you both know you're free to end the relationship if/when you want, but meanwhile, you both cherish the relationship so you won't use that freedom casually.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
The link doesn't work. It gives me a 404 File Not Found. Can you copy and paste? I'd like to read it.
Hmm, it works for me here. The paper is too long to copy and paste directly. Maybe try this link to the .pdf file: http://aphroweb.net/papers/thesis/thesis.pdf
Also here's a shortened version of the paper if the link above still doesn't work: http://www.ejhs.org/volume8/cook1.htm
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Heteroromantic asexual female, sex-positive, childfree, relationship anarchist.
Married to G, and in a partially non-romantic, completely non-sexual and long-distance triad with A and L.

Last edited by Eponine; 04-19-2013 at 04:23 AM.
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