Originally Posted by willowstar
I absolutely hate that my wish for a poly life is hurting him
What are you doing to hurt him? Are you living your life in the manner you see fit and he is emotionally not able to deal with it? Would you really consider that "hurting him"? I would say that is just living your life.
At some point you might stop and consider where you end and your partner begins. You might consider what actual control you have over his emotional state. You do not decide for anyone else on this planet their emotional state. No one on this planet decides your emotional state for you.
"Selfish" does not equal "bad". Selfish just means that you are looking out for yourself. I don't know where this necessity to sacrifice and put other people before ones self comes from but it is a world view that I find counterproductive at best.