Feeling like being poly is just selfish
Hi folks. I posted a few weeks ago about my husband having trouble accepting a new poly relationship I am currently involved in. We are still struggling with this, it has been 3 1/2 months of lots of conversations, snuggling, tears, and heartache.
I am feeling disheartened about poly in general. I am feeling very selfish for being poly in the first place, and for wanting other loves in my life when it is causing him so much angst. He is an amazing man, I have loved him dearly for over 17 years, we have three beautiful children together, and he has given of himself over and over so that I could pursue my dream job of being a midwife. I absolutely hate that my wish for a poly life is hurting him. After many years of talking about poly and attempts at making it work, he may just be mono after all and we don't know what to do about this.
My other love is my best friend. He knows me like no other. He accepts me unconditionally, has loved me since we were very young (we met before high school and grew up in the same town). We have been exploring this relationship since we saw each other a few months ago at a dinner party, and we realized we were still in love from all those years ago. I cannot imagine being without him in my life.
I am just looking for some words of encouragement and maybe some support around being poly in the first place. We are all feeling at a loss about what to do right now.
Thank you all for being here.
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming... ~ Dori
Willow ~ 46yo bi poly woman, married to Bear (formerly known as TB) for 20 years
Bear-Maybe poly/maybe mono straight man, still feeling it out