Originally Posted by KerrBear
To throw another confusing wrench into this all. My husband brought over my bf today as a surprise. I honestly think he's okay with the poly thing but then sometimes he's not. I don't really know what polymath score we are right now. . .
My ex-husband used to say I had an alcohol problem, and then when I'd say the heck with it, and not have any in the house, he'd bring it home for me, because he "felt bad."
It was very fraught with mixed messages, ended up just proving to him that I couldn't "give it up" and kept me completely confused as to what I could trust and what I couldn't.
You can control this. If you don't want the three-way stuff because it leads to problems, don't even do it when your husband brings him home. Don't give him that control to keep you off-kilter. If this is your decision, own it. Easier said than done, but I wish you the best of luck...