Thread: Wide Awake
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Old 04-18-2013, 02:05 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
Posts: 915
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Afternoon, afternoon, afternoon.

I woke up in a deliriously cheerful mood. I am a regular at the Sbux close to our home, and they even noticed I was more cheery than usual. It is something in the air. Even Matt is more light-hearted and easy going today.

We had breakfast with our children. It is never dull when our daughter is around. She looks like him, but that is my mini me personality wise. Her facial expressions and the things she says are hilarious. She is our child.

We are in Stockcross. Our hotel looks like a home that you would find in Laguna Beach in California. It is very quiet around here and serene. We had lunch with my parents and our children a couple of hours ago. My mum and I went antique shopping after. Matt and my daddy went somewhere to talk. My mum and I had to chance to talk about everything that has been going on. Talking to my mum always makes me feel better. I love how our relationship has changed over the years to one of mutual respect, friendship, and understanding. I love her bits of wisdom and insight. My mum really might know best. I say that behind a forced smile and gritted teeth. No child wants to admit their parents just might be right sometimes. Our children are with her now. Who knows what they are doing? I cannot wait to hear about it in the morning.

Matt and I are getting closer little by little. We talked during the wee hours of this morning and during our drive here. My resentment of his limit to closeness is softening. I appreciate it, and I would be crazy to shut his advances down. A kiss on the neck here. A little touching there. It keeps things interesting and exciting.

Our session starts in about an hour. He is still out with my daddy right now. I have spent my alone time figuring out things I want to address during today's session. It is not a long list like before. We are slowly chipping away at what used to be a laundry list. I see improvements. He can sense when he is being distant and bridges the gap. Like last night when he came in, he gave me a hug and a kiss. He actually sat down long enough

We have a promises "check-in" today. Between sessions, we make promises to each other. Small things like promising to be home by a certain time or to set time aside every night for quality time. We have to take smalls steps to start rebuilding trust. So far, it is working. He has kept all of his, and I have as well. Eventually we will move up a level and make bigger promises. It seems to be helping because glimpses of trust are emerging.

I am more hopeful today than I was yesterday. Today qualifies as a high day, and I want to keep that level of high up. Still smiling and positively glowing.
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