Thread: Wide Awake
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Old 04-17-2013, 08:36 PM
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Okay, I admit I'm difficult.

Yeah, once in awhile, an Alzheimer's victim will remember something. Their poor besieged brain manages to catch a few notes, or a few words. My wife is at the point where she will once in awhile say something, but even then the words are garbled and quite incoherent. But they are delivered with emotion, as if she is trying to say something very important. I always respond to her with a firm "Yes," and anything else I can think of. I tell her I love her even though she doesn't observably respond to that at all. I do fancy in my mind that somewhere deep within, she knows I'm there. I just still feel really crappy about the way I treated her in the past. You know, so often we don't appreciate what we have while we still have it ...

You know, my anger probably was generalized to some extent. Almost like being angry at God "for letting this happen." I'm sure we've all been there once or twice in our lives. That's okay though, I got my revenge against God, I became an atheist ... heh heh heh ...

I think you are just at a frustrating time when Matt is just starting to open up, but only a little. It's like he's only opening up enough to tease you, lead you on, or just plain drive you nuts. Hopefully this frustrating time will pass. He will warm up a little more. And I agree with SNeacail about specifically asking him for things that you need. "Honey, I felt so distanced the other day when you just said you'd be back around 8 ... Could you give me a good-bye kiss or something to help with that?" You might be surprised, he might actually respond to a heartfelt request like that in the positive.

As you said, little steps. You'll get there.
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