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Old 04-17-2013, 12:49 PM
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fuchka fuchka is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 390
Default Distance

I've moved cities, started paid work. Plinth, Grotto and Ocean saw me off at the airport bus. Watching them walk away as the bus left, with me a small face inside, was pretty poignant but also heart-warming. They are such good people. I'm gonna miss them.

Grotto came to my going away work drinks (for the place I was volunteering at before I moved). The manager there had previously met Ocean and knew him as my husband. On another occasion I'd said that we weren't monogamous and that I had another long-term partner, but it didn't seem to register. Anyway, I introduced Grotto as my "common law husband," which I actually quite liked doing. Made sense in the context of people who think of Ocean as my husband. Yeah. I may use that one again.

Finally scored a Skype date with Djuna today. Was cute to see her, catch up on the goss. Told her about things with Plinth... hmm... she was concerned about me hurting people by getting close to them but not having time to develop a relationship. (It felt a tad awkward discussing this with her as it has been a tension between the two of us in the past.) She reminded me that most people do fewer things because they realise the limits of their time. She said that it's really easy to move forward in a relationship but painful to pull back. That kind of thing.

Grotto had also been asking me what I'm going to do if Plinth wants more time with me than I do or can give.

I'm really relying on Plinth being self-aware enough to know his needs, and voice them. And on myself to express myself well and not over-reach.

But, this is his first experience with poly. And my first experience of being this... involved... romantically. I worry, a little. Especially reading this on AnnabelMore's blog:

I feel so bad for the new-to-poly people who try dating folks in Clay's situation, who have more than three partners. People who are used to being mono, used to being someone else's whole romantic world, and who suddenly get such a limited slice of time from someone they're feeling NRE with. It's HARD, but at least I have other relationships to focus on, at least I understand how difficult it is to manage this balancing act and can relate.
Well. I will write to him and see what his thoughts are.

Til then, I'm taking time to be By Myself. It's quiet, but quite lovely.
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