Ok I don't know how to quote something from this ding dong phone but if your husband thinks you are pushing him away by suggesting he form a relationship that meets his needs then he sounds awfully closed minded. If he let you go once I wouldn't get too hung up if doesn't accept you as you are and in the context that you desire (poly I mean)
Me- Linkin Park- the husband. I am the youngest, fast paced and admittedly full of issues.
Nina Simone- our wife- slow, gritty, and sexy like a smoky piano bar and a glass of brandy.
Led Zepplin- our wife - a rocker little tomboy that loves with everything. All she's got or nothing at all.