Originally Posted by Dirtclustit
and I would agree to proceed extremely cautiously, but what other option is there but to deny it?
I think maybe I read you wrong, because it *almost* sounded like you were implying that simply talking honestly was dangerous for a relationship.
Which it certainly can be, esp if people do not know themselves or use truth as a weapon to hurt each other. But caring and compassionate truth I believe can strengthen bonds between spouses. And I don't subscribe to the theory that once the door is open that it can never be shut.
For some people, maybe, but poly is so much more of an emotional closeness, like the love of a family, that sex truly for some is not what it is about. And as far as the sex part goes, that opening of the door can in fact be shut, the truth however you are correct, but that isn't a bad door to be stuck open as it is the truth and being able to live your life truthfully that is the real giver of freedom and allows for unheard of levels of intimacy. To be able to share your life truthfully with others is incredible.
that is the point I was trying to make, sorry if I read your comment wrong
Nah it's cool...as you say, honesty can be dangerous for a relationship if the honesty discloses something that fundamentally goes against the values/beliefs of the other person.
Of course that doesn't mean that honesty isn't still the best policy.