In fairness, I've noticed rather a lot of people whose replies can be summarized thusly:
"Polyamory- You're doing it wrong."
Not necessarily on this thread, but on quite a few. Anyway, neither this brand of advice nor the attitude that accompanies it are particularly helpful. It makes the poster (or in my case, the lurker) kind of scratch the head and wonder what part of "new to this" people are not understanding.