I'm Jim. I'm feeling for you in your struggle.
GalaGirl is right though, it takes a ton of trust and courage for him to be honest. I know you are shocked and shaken by his requests. Those are valid feelings. Take heart that, unlike many who have posted here, your husband appears to have done things in the right way. To me that suggests the two of you have a very solid foundation from which to recover and sort all of this out.
I wish you the best.