Originally Posted by Manifestiny
This is the hardest thing that i am working through because it activates my resentment toward her.
I stopped seeing my gf recently at my wife's request. After some counselling she decided that it was selfish of her to ask that of me...she told me that it hurt but that she loves me anyway...and i could do as i needed. The first instance that my wife and gf communicated...my wife shut down again and stopped speaking to either of us. For months and months my wife was telling me that my gf is lovely and caring...and now suddenly all she says is that she is manipulative...but wont explain why. If she genuinely wanted to be with me...would it be too assumptive to think that she would want to help me understand that i was being taken for a ride by my gf? There's so many possibility...but i can only go with what i get given to work with.
I'm not sure if there's much to hang onto anymore.
Your wife only did that because she thought that was what YOU wanted. She knows that your girlfriend makes you happy, and that is a threat to her because she is doing something that she cannot. How did you act when your relationship with your girlfriend ended? Were you sulking, sad, or just like going through the motions of life while dealing with your heartbreak? How did your wife act then? Was she the same as she is now?
Is it possible that your wife is seeing something in your girlfriend that you cannot see because you are caught up in NRE? Sometimes you cannot explain why you feel the way you do. I know I cannot from time to time. Like I just figured out why being poly makes me feel selfish. It took the longest for me to get to that point of discovery.
Is it possible that she said something that your wife may have taken the wrong way or taken out of context? I find it interesting that your wife went from saying she was caring and all this to she is manipulative. What happened? Did you leave your wife to go tend to your girlfriend because she was having an emotional meltdown? Have your wife and your girlfriend talked alone recently? If so, what came of the conversation? Where did this whole playing games thing come into place? I do wonder what your girlfriend meant by that.