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Old 04-16-2013, 12:32 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by castle33 View Post
maybe the reason there are so many unhappy unicorns out there is because they are typed and labeled unicorns. i hate that term. they are just people. so much pressure is put on them. just let them be and court them like you would anyone else.
Well, the term is derogatory but it's not really meant to deride the single bi women who want to be with couples. It's actually a phrase that is meant to be sympathetic to such women - amazing that so many can't see that.

The term is used really, as a slap (wake-up call) to all those tedious MF couples who want the impossible and unrealistic: the idealized hot bi babe who will move in with them, love them both equally, never desire nor be with anyone else, and even become pretty much like live-in nannies without any input about what they want out of the relationships. They're only there to "add to" the couples' marriage, satisfy wifey's exploration of her bi side, while being sexually available to hubby, and heaven forbid they have a mind of their own and different desires. We've seen several instances here when these poor, often inexperienced (in poly or even relationships in general) women find themselves in situations like this where they have to ask the wife's permission to even talk to the husband. And yet the HBB is supposed to be available to service him. These couples will often seek out younger women without much financial means so they have some control monetarily over their comings and goings.

Hence "what you are seeking is a unicorn" -- problem is these couples are usually so enmeshed in their ridiculous fantasies that they don't even realize the term is making fun of them! They drool and go,"Yes, where is our unicorn?" with stars in their eyes. Unicorn hunters like that are pathetic, really. I mean, hello! A unicorn is a myth! It isn't real! Wake up and get over it!
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 04-16-2013 at 09:24 AM.
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