Originally Posted by FullofLove1052
I rarely say this, but maybe you just need to get the divorce and be done. Yes, it will hurt, but in time, you will get better and be stronger. Clearly you are not happy with your wife and tired of dealing with the dramatics and what not. The first venture in full blown polyamoury was not a smooth journey. Let it be a lesson. Take some time to heal and focus on being friendly with her and being a good parent to your children. Sometimes you have to know when to let go. Your wife has to figure out what she wants. You both sound miserable, so I am not sure why either of you would want to stay. There is a compatibility issue. She desires monogamy, and you are poly. Either way, good luck and I wish you well. Sending hugs your way.
Thank you Ry. I appreciate your reflection so much. I wish i had that sort of truth around me more! Yes, lessons. What would life be without them. I know we can be better parents...and better people...apart. I am coming to terms with that. I will be ok...and in the long run will be healthier and happier! And i only want the same for my wife. And my gf. And all the beings in the world.