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Old 04-15-2013, 09:00 PM
Murphy Murphy is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Originally Posted by hyperskeptic View Post
First, welcome to the forum. I hope we here may be of some help to you.
Thank you. I hope so too.

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Originally Posted by hyperskeptic View Post
After all, nothing has actually happened yet, or so I assume. Your husband has told you be wants something, but his wanting it does not in itself impose some obligation on you, nor does it mean a decision has already been made.
No, nothing has happened. There is no one else involved.

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Originally Posted by hyperskeptic View Post
1. What is your marriage like, from the inside? Is it strong and happy? Contentious and stressful? Something else? Is it possible that your husband actually wants out?
Our marriage has been, from my view and from what he says of his view, happy. We have had a lot of stresses lately, kids, money and a death in the family, but until this "issue", there has been nothing wrong. He has stressed that he wants to stay married to me, to be with me, and while he has been thinking about this for some time, he has still been just as happy and in love with me as before.

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Originally Posted by hyperskeptic View Post
2. What is it your husband actually wants? "Open marriage" is vague. Does he want to be able to have sex with others? Committed relationships with others (polyamory)? Does he want to find someone to "add" to the marriage, forming a triad? Something else? Would you be free to pursue other relationships, if you wanted to? Including relationships with other men?
This is a problem I pointed out to him. He did say that he does not want a second wife or a serious girlfriend, but beyond that, he won't say. He says it is because he's not sure and can't pre-order a scenario. I think he can at least have some criteria, and could choose appropriate persons to pursue, especially as he wants to experience some fetish/kink related sex.

He has said, yes, that it works both ways. If fact, he has indicated he might want to watch or join such an activity. I have no idea how to feel about that, and while I did date several people simultaneously before we were married, I have put that mindset away being so in love and devoted to my husband. I don't know if I can return to that way of thinking after being married for so long.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hyperskeptic View Post
3. Did your husband introduce the idea of an "open marriage" as a speculative possibility? A request? A demand? An ultimatum?.
It is a request. He hasn't made an ultimatum, but he has said if we can't forge an agreement, he isn't sure what will happen. He wants to be with me, but he wants to pursue his sexual interests.
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