Those points are true.
Much of what was in Polynerdists post clarifies how it would work for me.
An example, the last guy I dated before I married-K. He and I have different goals in life. We didn't make a good couple because of that.
When we "broke up" our dating relationship, I took it upon myself to go to him and show my love for him by being there for him as a friend. He knew my decision to break up with him made sense, but still it hurt!
It was unfair to expect HIM to take the step to promote a friendship from there. I did it myself.
When he got a new girlfriend, I was there supporting THEM. When he broke up with her (she got into heavy drugs and he couldn't stay it was too f'd up) I was there for him, holding him, because he did love her.
So-yes a person CAN find insecurity in my words. But those who've taken the chance, those who've taken a "leap of faith", have found that I don't fail them in those ways.
I was explaining to someone recently-I would NEVER leave Maca. I don't prioritize others OVER him.
When he is in need, his need comes first. When Blaidwynns life was on the line (literally we had cause to believe he wouldn't see our youngest child's second birthday), I didn't just run off to him, but I did tell Maca that I needed him (Maca) to understand, that I love this person and this person has been in my life and family since I was THREE years old.
Blaidwynn's wife had done EVERYTHING that could be done, there was no purpose in me leaving my family behind to go take care of him, his wife had it under control, but I told her if she needed a break, or needed a friend, or needed support, I would.
I told Blaidwynn, if he wanted or needed me-I would.
I told Maca-if they need me, I need to go and I spent every night telling Maca how much I love Maca, how important it would be to me that if I did need to go and care for .........
for one of my
Anam Cara's (thank you for THAT term!) in his last hours, days, weeks... and put him to rest.....
that Maca and the children too would come to be with me on the weekends. Because as devastating as it would be to spend those last minutes/last hours/days/weeks caring for and being near Blaidwynn....
It would also be devastating for me to be separated from Maca and the kids for those minutes/hours/days/weeks because I LOVE them and I NEED them and I WANT them, and I TREASURE my EVERY moment with them.
One of the reasons my version of love works-is because the people closest in my life, they live it too.
When all hell broke loose-they were there, not only for me, but for Maca as well. EVEN though he chose to turn a blind eye-they WERE there for him.
This weekend, when he stripped his soul to Blaidwynn (and his wife).
They didn't just raise an eyebrow and then move on with their day.
B's wife (she has a log in but at the moment it evades me) bared her soul for Maca, showed him her heart, her soul, her pains, her struggles. Showed him that he's NOT alone in his battle.
That his terror of "crossing the threshhold" (her words) to a new and better life (my words) wasn't his alone. That he's not walking alone, but that we are all walking the path together and we will continue on together.
"Love As Thou Wilt"