Originally Posted by nancyfore
So are you saying that when the kids get older she is expendable??
How do you mean that when the kids get older you'll lose motivation for an extra relationship?
If your going to lose the motivation for an extra relationship, why bother going through all this now anyway?
Expendable is the wrong word, but aren't all relationships destined to change? Maybe you get closer, maybe you get farther apart, but they aren't the same. Realistically, this is a LDR, and is likely that it goes by the wayside.
Re: kids. My wife is very introverted. Currently I have to share her social time with the kids. As they grow up, the amount of time she will have to spend on me will likely increase. If I'm getting more time from the wife, that's less time I have for T. But we're talking over a decade, and I want to enjoy it while it's going on.
I have no intention of letting T out of my life. Quite the contrary. But at the same time I need to be realistic for everyone involved.
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
I mean, what makes you so special that she would lie to them but NOT to you?
Because I'm bbp
Seriously though, part of it is because I accept her for what she is. The others don't. There's no need to lie to me.
That being said, she will omit things and you're right, I am going to have to accept it, or end the relationship. It doesn't happen very often, and it's not about important stuff.
Originally Posted by WhatHappened
What's the point of coming here and asking for advice and then giving a response like "I'm sorry, but this makes me laugh" when someone takes the time to respond?
Because that advice made me laugh. "Break up with her, or you'll have to break up with her!" That's funny.
I'm very thankful for both the time people have spent and the advice they have given. I will check out that book. I think there's a gray area on the honest. I agree with most of you that lies of ommission are still lies. However, when we are direct it is very candid and I don't belive she would outright lie. In addition, she will backfill. For example, if I revisited the night that started this whole thread, and asked her who she was talking to that night instead of sleeping, she would tell me the truth. It's only in foresight that I think there has been some ommission. In hindsight we work it out. Or maybe I'm deluding myself I'm not that naive to think that's not a possibility.
Wildflowers and kdt
Thank you for your responses. I really appreciate it.