At first, there was plenty of NRE flowing between the three of us... I was now not only a friend but there was a romantic connection between the three of us. We each had time together and things were going good. There was little time between the onset of our relationship and my being a live in part of their household. Having known each Zepplin and Nina individually and as a couple, I had much, much more respect for the relationship between them than I did for either relationship with me. I had even set forth one condition at the beginning of this relationship- if I begin to come between you, that's it all done and ill move on.
I felt very much like a third wheel and that I had no right to ask for the companionship that I needed but they each took great care in making me feel like I was a part of their , and now our, relationship.
It didn't take long for a much deeper connection to form between Nina and I- one that I could not have imagined. We spent a lot of time together and I began to concentrate on building this relationship, but not on building a relationship with Zepplin as well. Nina's family accepted me with open arms and I was immediately a part of their family. About six months after we got together I proposed to Nina in front of her family and she accepted.
I must pause for a moment here and tell you about what is going on with the other side of this relationship- as Nina and Zepplin have been "roommates"for many years, she was very much a part of Nina's family. In my infinite narcissism, I failed to stop and realize that I was being handed all of the things that Zepplin wanted as her partner but could never, ever have....and I trotted right along as if I were doing just what I was supposed to do. (That is still hard to admit and even write down to this day) Needless to say I was laying the foundation for jealousy and resentment between the two of us.
While all of this is going on, these two ladies are trying desperately to bring to my attention my sincere lack of understanding for others feelings- and I'm fighting tooth and nail... I had lived in my own world- ruled by me and disguised by my own defense mechanisms- for a LONG time. So far they had reeled me in from drowning in a sea of alcoholism and self destructive behavior, but my entire paradigm was shifting and I was reeling from the multitude of changes. I didn't like it. Times were very hard for us right now- we were all committed to making this work but the arguments that stemmed from my lack of personal introspection coupled with the sincere emotions that radiated (sometimes exploded) from Nina and the thankless position that Zepplin had been put in (yet continued to fight for the right cause-us not her or any combination other than the three of us) had boiled a stew that took each of us to our breaking point more than once.
Never the less, we stuck with it, fought it out when we needed to, and continued to turn toward each other.
The three of us traveled to California in 2008 and were married on the beach at sunset.
I have since grown and matured very much and in the past few years Zepplin and I have fostered our friendship into the relationship that it should have been in the first place and so far things are going very very well between the three of us.