Thanks so much for your kind words Mark. I'm hoping hard that this all works out for the best. Today is L and my 5 year anniversary of being together, and our second wedding anniversary was Tuesday (the 9th). We had a really amazing conversation this morning about the nature of love and how we each saw things -- something that I feel like we should have talked about a long time ago, but now that we have I'm so relieved... Not to say that we agree, because actually we don't, but we know where we're both coming from now. It's a conversation I'd like to have with S at some point, also, if I get the opportunity.
L and I are reconnecting, talking, playing, laughing. It's nice. We also went out last night to our second BDSM event, and we met a lot of really great people who are in our age group. We're looking forward to going back next month and seeing everyone again.
I'm in a much better place mentally now. I know what I need to do and how to do it, so now I just have to buckle down and make it happen. It's weird though -- this will be the very first time i've ever had anything in my life that's 100% completely on the table and honest. I'm terrified that I'll screw it up and lose them both, but L has said that she'll stand by me because she knows I can do it. I know S is skeptical, i could see it in his eyes yesterday when i told him what I was doing and the acknowledged the things that we both had done wrong, etc, but I think that he'll see how invested i am in this and he'll come around. And again, if he doesn't, well, at least i tried as hard as i could, and I still have my amazing wife.
I'll keep you guys apprised of the situation as it develops.... I appreciate knowing that there's a group of people out there who can at least sortof relate to what i'm going through.