Originally Posted by lizzygirl2412
I guess it all would depend on the person and her wants and needs. As I stated before K and I are very go with the flow type of people and we do not wish to make anyone feel as if they are intruding on something. We have talked about her possibly going on trips with him or I and as for her and him spending time romanticly together when Im not around. Not onlly do I not mind I would encourage it.
I guess I was hoping since K and I are so solid and being that way has taken hard work that the person who would be willing to come into our life would feel like she has a solid starting point. Maybe Im wrong in feeling this way but I never want anyone we are with to feel like a third wheel or unwanted. I want an equal not someone that feels beneath me in any way. Maybe we are looking for a unicorn or a diamond in the ruff.. either way I hope we are able to find her. Thanks for your post
It is impossible to plan for this kind of thing. It literally requires that person to already be in your lives and vocalising what it is that she wants or needs.
That is not unreasonable to desire someone who is secure enough in herself to feel comfortable and like she is not intruding on what has been established. It still takes adjustment, non-stop communication, and sometimes even checkpoints. Checking to make sure everyone is okay, needs are getting met, and a general gauge of feelings.
Is it impossible to find? Absolutely not. The thing with triads, which is what it sounds like you might want, is that they have to happen naturally. You could very well walk outside of your home right now and meet someone, but what if she is only interested in you right now and not your husband? With the whole D/S situation, how do you think that would work out? Would he be okay with someone only wanting to be with you? Keep in mind that she could very well decide in months or years that, "Hey. I want to get to know K on a deeper level." Thus, the beginning of a triad. Let's say that never happens. Would he be willing to find someone else for himself? Like I said when we ask questions, it is because some of us have been where you are. The general idea is to prevent a wreck of a situation from happening to that person, so we talk about where we went wrong in our various situations, in an attempt to stop others from making the same mistakes.