Yes, "unicorn hunters" (as they're pejoratively named) have a bad reputation. Doesn't mean you're one of the "bad ones," just means you "inherited" the bum rap.
You'll find unicorn hunters spoken of with cynicism and/or skepticism on other sites too, but I think another part of it is, Polyamory.com is just such a huge site, so busy, and with so, so many members. You'll encounter some members who will tread gently, some who will not spare the whip, and everything in between. The advantage to this is that you get a wide range of perspectives. The disadvantage is that, well, sometimes you will feel like you are being deluged with judgmentalism. I can't say if it's worth it or not. I guess it is if you can tolerate the unpleasant long enough to get to the pleasant. I've been here about a year. I've had some good experiences here, and some that sucked. Ultimately I stay around because I want to stay connected with the largest poly forum I know of.
I'm sorry you had one of the sucky experiences. I encourage you to try to give the good folks here a chance, they'll come tentatively out of the woodwork when the coast is clear.
Just from reading your one post here, I see nothing wrong with your relationship set-up or what you're looking for. Just be patient, and learn as much as you can while waiting for the right person to come along.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"