Thread: Confused
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Old 04-13-2013, 02:21 PM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,285

You know she lies to her other partners. People who are supposed to be the closest to her. She is a cheater, at least one of her relationships is based entirely on a false premise. In that light, it is only sane and reasonable to assume that she is lying to you too... I mean, what makes you so special that she would lie to them but NOT to you? When she makes you feel that you have hurt her feelings by asking a simple question like "did you stay up later than you meant to last night?" that is a manipulative reaction to deflect attention from her lies by making you feel guilty. Plain and simple.

The only choices I see for you here are to 1) confront her about it, insist you won't take any more lying, and see if her behavior changes (it sounds like she's well and truly stuck in this pattern, so I doubt that will work), 2) break up, or 3) accept the lying as part of her and take everything she says with a grain of salt... don't try to play detective any longer by trying to figure out if she was really talking to someone else or not, just be zen about it and don't worry about the lying.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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