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Old 04-13-2013, 01:25 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Am I correct in understanding that you felt the only way you and Lia could pursue your attrractions to each other and have a relationship was if both your husbands were involved sexually as well? If that's the case, I think that was probably your biggest mistake. There would have been much less emotional fallout if you and Lia had simply explored whatever potential was there independently instead of trying to make a quad situation out of it. Was it just expected that Lia should love your husband just because you had the hots for her and she was having sex with him? Rather unrealistic to have set it up that way. I hope you all have learned from this!
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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