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Old 04-13-2013, 02:22 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

I think Opalescent and Anneintherain mostly said what I would have - that it's wa-a-aaaaay too soon for fluid bonding and that it's okay if your answer in two months is that you are still unsure.

Personally, I don't understand why people attach so much importance to going without condoms. Most of the early years of my sexual life (which started in the mid-1970s) was pretty much condomless. I always used birth control but no condoms regularly until the early '90s - and I was quite promiscuous. So, I was always used to sticky sex, and loved it.

Since the 90s, it's been "no glove no love" about 90% of my single life (I admit I wasn't always diligent about it). Of course, when I was married, we never used condoms (we were monogamous and my husband had had a vasectomy). Since we separated, it's back to condoms again and now it's 100%. I still would love to have sticky sex again someday, without any worries, and one benefit of being so experienced in going with bareback is that the idea of fluids don't bother me like they do some people (as in thinking it's just gross), but the reality in this day and age is that safety is an important factor, so I accept that have to really, really know someone very, very well before I ever engage in sticky sex again.

And the truth is, as far as PIV, I really can't tell the difference, especially if we use ultra-thin condoms. So, to me, there is far too much hype and idealizing going on about fluid bonding. I'm not judging you for considering it, and it is a big deal, but I just don't think it really makes the sex that much more enjoyable - and especially NOT if you will be worried about the possible consequences in the back of your mind all the time (with a sex worker for a metamour). Full and complete trust, honesty, and openness has to be there and well-established, before doing so. You might find that peace of mind is much more valuable to you than a negligible difference in sensation. I just thought I'd share that in case it helps.

Oh! And Happy Birthday!!!
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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Last edited by nycindie; 04-13-2013 at 02:34 AM.
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