I'm sorry, but this makes me laugh.
So, what you're saying is either I break up with her (and break my heart) or it's possible down the road she'll break my heart. There's really no downside to stringing this out, as far as I can tell.
Don't get me wrong. There are circumstances where I'd believe you.
Sex. If (and it's a big if) it happens it would be protected. I might trust her, but I certainly don't trust her partner. And I have a wife to protect.
Money. Not applicable.
Kids. Not applicable.
Time. mayyybe? I've a little bit of brooding when I should be enjoying myself. But that's on me. She's not forcing me into that, and as I'm getting more secure, I'm less worried about trying to capture the most possible moments.
Other than that, we live 1500 miles away and there's zero chance of that changing. We lead completely separate lives, but enjoy spending time with each other.
And let's be clear. I'm looking for communication advice.
Should I confront her? I did. She eliminated the first half of my fear which made the back half insecurity rather than deceitful (according to our agreements.)
How do you deal with someone with depression? I still don't know. You can't just dump on them at any time. You wouldn't ask someone with pneumonia to take you to the movies. It's about timing. And she more than made up for it the rest of the day today.
I want to be clear. I'm not dismissing the advice. If I was making life decisions you would be 100% correct. I'm not and this was so accidental to begin with. Once my kids are a little older, I'll lose the majority of my motivation for an extra relationship anyway.
Me: 40 straight male in a V with
Wife: Kay - mono female - married 18 years
LDR girlfriend: Susan - poly female - 3 year relationship
Stakes - very intimate friend