Thank you, guys, for helping me! This is definitely a tough issue for us right now... we are in an interesting place... I am sorry I type walls of text haha I am trying to get better at it. I actually typed up the last post in a word document and it had the breaks in it but they disappeared I guess lol
He is trying to rush to a conclusion and shut his mind off to it and right now that's an ugly picture to him (and it may always be, I realize. I hope not but... I have to acknowledge it.)
We had a little bit of a sad day the other day when we both kind of ended up at the "Well if it's something you cannot live with and it's something I cannot live without... that can only mean that we... can't have both of those ideas in the same relationship..." And we both got very sad and needed to take the evening to ourselves to cool off and think about it separately for a bit... We've never really had that kind of sadness before the porn thing.
Anyway... Today he came to me and told me he agreed we should read some books together and he said he wants to try to give it a fair shot in a purely abstract sense right now. I think it's a great idea... We'll be ordering a few of those books your guys recommended very soon and I will update this post as we explore... I am sure I'll need some more guidance. I like the list idea, too. I think we'll do that as well.
Thank you so much for listening and giving me advice.