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Old 04-12-2013, 07:42 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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I took some time off from writing as there wasn't much going on but wouldn't you know it, just when I thought that, lots of stuff happened and I didn't have time. I tried to take a week off from the forum too and the same thing... ha!

Mono started in with his flirting with women again and I lost my mind again. I guess the wounds are too fresh and I think that every woman he is seeing behind my back still or engaging in sexting conversations. At the same time with this going on he went on a long coffee with his female friend. He was suppose to be back at a certain time to do an errand and wasn't. I went on the errand instead. I was angry and felt as if the boundaries were pushed again. It took me right back to where I was a few months ago about the women he has in his life.

I wish I could let it go. I know I will with time. He asks me to let it go and reassures me that nothing is going on and he is sticking to our agreements, but I am uncomfortable with his words and think he is lying. I don't want to, but I am not over it all yet I guess. When he tells me what he says to the women in his life I cringe with the creepiness of it all. I own that. Its me who sees his flirts as creepy because I would be creeped out if I got that from a guy on line. I am uncomfortable with him having confirmed his position with his friend too even if she's not free and he isn't interested in being fully poly. I just wonder where its going, try not to wonder, get wrapped up in my lingering pain, try to let it go and cycle like that constantly.

PN asked someone out! Its been almost two years and he has found someone he would like to invest time in. She asked if she could meet all of us first. I thought this was an interesting way of going about dating, but was touched by the gesture that she was considering all of us as people she could have in her life.

So she came to dinner. It was a night of nervous tension and laughter, but it went well, according to PN. He seemed to think that it was a smooth night and that a date will follow. We all wait with anticipation of their planning a date. To me the night was odd. I think I am not used to just sitting there while he does all the work. Its usually me or all of us as its usually my partners that come over. Or our guests together.
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