Sounds like you are not getting your needs met.
You could take initiative. Like in the latest thing... Don't be snarky or sarcastic. Just straight up talk. Something like...
"I've been missing our quality time together, I was being romantic this morning. When the first message I hear from you later is "help, I can't talk to people besides you!" I feel skipped over and not SEEN.
Could you please be willing to greet me first and THEN move on to making requests for me to fix things for you so I can feel good about being acknowledged? "
There's so much else though that is lacking. Maybe time to step back from the "day to day" probs and look at the "over all trend" here? Accept this isn't especially fulfilling for you when she generally treats you this way? It's not changing.