Yes, right. Actually DH himself said 'you know he's always loved you' so it's there.
I had never thought about a sex therapist, I don't know that our issues are that deep. He was a jerk and I let him have what he needed then kept score and justified my actions in a tit for tat. We are very good at that.
So yeah, I totally see how he thought that things were great and then was shocked when they were not. And part of the reason we need to go slow. But if we are going to clear the air then here it is!! The thing is, we are really great at fucking but my partner is clueless as to how to make love. We are working on it, because I feel firmly I don't want to look outside the marriage for my needs-- if something is missing we need to work on that.
BFF is pretty firm on that too, he doesn't want to be a replacement.